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I feel otherwise and this just rubs salt into my wounds. These wishes feel to me very thoughtless and insensitive. How do I respond? Now, it may also draw you into a debate. This is the downside. People can overstep in their desire to support those of us who are grieving. If all else fails, V-Day may be a time you want to put your phone in a drawer and do something that brings you peace.
Dear Eric : My mother has been horribly critical of everyone all my life, including myself. The fact that I have an informed opinion on current events also comes under fire. As a result, I rarely bring up anything in her presence. But then she accuses me of ignoring her.
My sister gets her share of criticism over the phone. I dread the day she becomes dependent on me, her only relative in the area, to take her shopping and on errands and for any care.
Especially when their worldview is perpetually tinted gray, and an unappealing shade of gray at that. There are solutions available to your mother, if she wants to make use of them. You can begin to adjust the boundaries of your relationship by calling out comments or behavior that are unacceptable when they happen and without debate. Yes, this will get added to her list of grievances. What happens when she crosses the line? Maybe the conversation ends, or the visit.
But continuing to advocate for yourself and creating fair and clear consequences will help you both. Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric askingeric. Box , Philadelphia, PA Follow him on Instagram oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas. Eric Thomas eric askingeric. Share this: Click to share on Facebook Opens in new window Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window Click to print Opens in new window Click to email a link to a friend Opens in new window Click to share on Reddit Opens in new window.