I can go to any hobbies that I want, I can do anything I want, and that gives me a lot of pleasure. I finally got to a point in my life where I was like: Listen, if I can't make myself happy, then I can't make anyone happy. Skip navigation! Katherine Singh. Last Updated May 16, , PM. Her friends, around the same age and also Indo-American , are getting the same kinds of hints.
And other measures of what constitutes a rich and fulfilled life. But many first- and second-gen women in North America are no longer subscribing to this expectation, making the decisions for themselves to not prioritize or, in some cases, completely check out on dating and marriage and redefining success on their own terms.
It may not sound entirely novel that young women are choosing not to prioritize dating and marriage. Rising home prices , a precarious job market , and a priority on career and self-fulfillment means that young people across the country have been making the decision to get married at a later age β if at all. Jyothsna Bhat PsyD , a New Jersey-based clinical psychologist who often works with members of the South Asian community on issues around mental health.
While this can be positive, providing support and a sense of community where people look after each other, it can also mean putting others first instead of yourself for the greater good. This leaves marriage β and the continuation of family lines β as the way women are able to contribute to the family unit. While times have obviously changed, this ideology still remains, a relic of generations of heritage. Marriage also comes with a social currency, as one of few ways young South Asian people, especially women, can assert independence.
While for some it can be empowering to go against the grain, it can also lead to discord within families, and contribute to feelings of isolation and stress for young women choosing a different path. And in some cases, while more rare, it can have dire consequences. And while times have changed slightly, the pressure still persists. It just looks kind of different.
