You may want to get serious, but relationship anxiety โand all the future unknowns, like what if we break up one day? Follow this expert advice. A fear of commitment typically means that when you think about a future with your partner, you feel anxious, fearful, or maybe even numb. And it tends to influence the choices you make about your relationship, says Zinman-Ibrahim.
To overcome your fears around commitment, it helps to first understand where exactly your feelings are coming from. There are so many reasons why you might have a fear of commitmentโand it can come from a very valid place, says Zinman-Ibrahim. Relationships require a lot of vulnerability, and that can be scary. You can learn to trust yourself to make the right choices. That means taking notice of the following things:. By considering these things as you spend time with your partner, you can notice what thoughts naturally ariseโand be more likely to find a clear answer.
There are a few mental health conditions that are worth knowing about when it comes to a fear of commitment:. ROCD is a subtypeโor themeโof obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD that involves fears surrounding your relationship, including committing to it.
It involves repetitive, unwanted intrusive thoughts, images, urges, or feelings , like:. Again, anyone might have these thoughts. But with ROCD, they are unwanted and obsessive, and bring extreme anxiety, fear, worry, shame, or embarrassment.
And they lead you to engage in mental or physical behaviors compulsions to try to alleviate your intrusive thoughts and the discomfort they bring. For example, you might ask for constant reassurance from your partner, or try to avoid your partner altogether. As for anxiety , there are several different types of this disorder, but the ones to note in this case are generalized anxiety disorder GAD and specific phobia โ gamophobia , which is the fear of romantic commitment.
