Basically it comes down to this: we are persons with strong desires to procreate. Women like to date men with jobs. Men could care less about the job, they tend to date women who can bear children. That would be fine, except for the fact that we are persons, human subjects who must also love. How does one draw a line, and when? The reason I ask this is that I find many women who have a strong desire for children, and fewer and fewer men who arrive to adulthood without baggage from the deranged culture we live in.
As a priest, what advice should I give to young women looking to marry? I do have some ideas about this, but they are only my ideas.
I have yet to come across anyone else's ideas, which is very dangerous position. What would you say? This is a tricky subject. Sadly, because of the culture we live in, many women will encounter this situation. I'm getting married this summer to the man who consistently draws me closer to Christ. On our first date, he confessed a lot of his past, not to scare me but to give me a heads-up.
At first, I was hurt because I desired for him to wait. However, I was humbled and honored that he shared that with me so honestly. With that story came a better one: the story of how he realized that Jesus conquered the very sins he struggled with. The spiritual death he encountered after those sins transformed into a moment of hearing Our Lord calling him to be a better man. He says after four and a half years of dating me and practicing chastity, he wishes he didn't do what he did before. At the same time, he says those moments of sin and suffering give way to a beautiful conversion story and a way to connect with men who struggle like he did.
God calls him to minister to men caught in the same sins that ensnared him. They are crosses he bears, but he does not bear them alone. We cannot hold someone's past against them, especially if they have confessed their sins and changed.
