Readers discretion advised. Vivid imageries of an isolated sex dungeon with cages, canes, and torturing tools often jump right into our head when we all hear these 4 letters: BDSM. Our interpretations of what they mean probably and unwittingly bear quite a bit of resemblance with popular literature, movies, or pornography.
This illustrates some of the many assumptions constituting the representations of BDSM, as they exist in the collective imagery. Our intent with this essay is to go beyond these common representations, usually far from reality as they parody, extrapolate from, or simply build on stereotypes, by diving deeper into demystifying BDSM as a practice and as a community.
These four letters stand for three types of practices:. Finally, here are two trivial concepts, that we think must unfortunately still be defined :. Boundary: The limit of what someone considers to be acceptable behaviour. How could pain ever be pleasurable? This question seems to haunt plentiful people, barring them from stepping into the realm of BDSM and picking it up as a practice. But it is actually a misleading question.
We love sex because it is pleasurable, and BDSM is one of many fantasies that rest on our deep-down desire for greater pleasure. While there might be many stigmas attached to the practitioners of BDSM, research shows the contrary. Instead of belonging to a group of marginalised people or being stigmatised as social outcasts, those interested in BDSM are as regular as the general public: well adapted to the social environment, unburdened by psychopathologies, and experiencing high levels of satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and communication in relationships.
BDSM can be practised safely, securely, and only among those who wish to participate. BDSM is about pleasure, something we seek in sex. Then, the real question is: how do we find pleasure through BDSM? To begin with, BDSM is about entering an alternative reality where you assume roles.
