
WEIGHT: 61 kg
Bust: 3
1 HOUR:30$
NIGHT: +60$
Services: Fetish, Facials, Toys, Spanking, Massage
Do you want to play a game? Yes, yes I do want to play a game. I want to play them all. Or perhaps, in , the streaming app. I wantβno, need βto rank every trap in the series. And not purely on a scale of creativity or gore, as others have , but instead by how likely I could beat every trap with some reasonable tweaks. I wanted to ask the question everyone asks when Jigsaw is on screen: Could I survive? Jigsaw might put a victim through excruciating torture, but he alwaysβtheoreticallyβgives them a chance to survive.
On the flip side, I also was generous to any traps for being iconic, overtly creative, or whatever the hell I want, because the list is ultimately supposed to be fun, of course. One last thing: The ranking will proceed in order of most survivable to least.
I want to say the Saw masterminds are better than a dream sequence, but at this point this was their seventh movie in seven years. Still, be better. In her nightmare, Jill Tuck is hung up by her hands in front of Mark Hoffman, who fires a spiked mini-train at her chest. The vehicle splits her in half and leaves each of her arms hanging.
It beats out the dream sequence in Saw 3D because the envisioned trap is a fun one: A thieving custodian has to break all of the fingers on one of his hands within 60 seconds to avoid having his eyes vacuumed out of his head. Yes, moving the dial across all five positions in one quick twist breaks all of the fingers on your right hand, but it also avoids having your eyeballs sucked out their sockets.
A rare L for Kramer on this one. Spraying down a bunch of copsβjust for doing their jobs, mind you! Touch grass! Ryan is an idiot. Yet, Ryan approaches the door anyway and, you guessed it, gets caught in a trap. I survive this with both my legs because I have a working brain and can read.