Death is a natural event. Experts agree that children, even the very young, should not be shielded from the death of a loved one. Children have the capacity to recognize death as an event and the curiosity to ask questions about the event. The general advice is to talk to the child simply and truthfully about the death, in an age-appropriate manner. Ask questions to determine what the child already knows about the situation. You may then explain the situation to him simply and honestly.
For example, the child might develop a fear of going to sleep because the same thing might happen to him. For any age group, stick with truthful, simple answers in terms that the child can understand. The age and emotional development of a child will influence the way they experience grief. Up to 7 years of age, children see death mainly as a separation event.
This may cause them to feel abandoned and scared. They may fear being alone, and may not want to sleep alone at night, or go to school. Other behaviors, usually manifested by children between the ages of 2 and 5, may include eating, sleeping, toileting, or bed-wetting problems. Very young children under the age of 2 may suddenly refuse to talk, and become more irritable in general.
Children in this age group have begun to understand death as a permanent event. Symptoms may include problems concentrating on schoolwork, trouble following directions, and difficulty in performing daily tasks. While teenagers understand and perceive death in closely the same way as adults, they may express their grief differently. Thoughts of suicide may sometimes be present in a teen that is having trouble processing his or her loss. Warning signs of suicide in children and teens may include a preoccupation with death, having thoughts or openly talking about suicide, or giving away belongings.
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