Positive Singles. Meet People With Herpes. H Date. Herpes dating services have been around since the Internet was invented, thanks to a powerful social stigma that makes disclosing your STI status a frightening prospect for many of us.
I get it. Please do not read this essay as judgmental. One of the first emails I received when I went viral way back in April was from a woman claiming to work for PositiveSingles. She wanted me to become a spokesperson, and when I refused, someone higher up in the food chain emailed me again.
I politely declined for a second time. But then the same thing happened again with another STI dating site, and then another, and another. A booming app industry in Silicon Valley means that new STI dating services pop up every few months, and a cursory Google search means that their marketing team, or their founder, or their intern, quickly discovers me.
Let me be very clear: I will never endorse an STI dating site. Here are a few basic reasons. As time goes on and stigma lessens, there will be less of a demand for these services. STI dating services would make great hacking targets in an online landscape where vigilante justice is all the rage and people with STIs are unsympathetic victims whaddup, Ashley Madison. Not to mention these products are often cheap and tacky. Herpes dating apps rely on, profit from and contribute to the social stigma that I am absolutely against.
We are not on the same side of this war. They reinforce the impulse of scared, raw people to hate themselves and hide from the rest of the world. These websites enable the self-segregation of the H community in a way that I believe contributes to our invisibility and inertia.
