Indeed, some folks get really hot and bothered when applauded during play, receiving sexual gratification in response to reverence—which is known as having a praise kink. Ahead, sex educators explain exactly what a praise kink is, where it comes from, and how to explore a praise kink with a partner.
Underscoring a praise kink is the broader concept of praise play, or the act of experimenting with giving and receiving praise from a partner as a means of sexual gratification, says sex educator Anne Hodder-Shipp , founder of Everyone Deserves Sex Ed. Someone with a praise kink, specifically, gets off on receiving, well, praise. Sure, plenty of people enjoy hearing words of affirmation —but having a praise kink means someone receives sexual satisfaction from being applauded or recognized, says sex educator Searah Deysach , owner of pleasure product company Early to Bed.
Take a breeding kink or any of the power play dynamics of BDSM , for example. But that also means that kink is highly subjective. This nuance applies to praise, too. Someone can enjoy receiving or giving praise in bed without identifying as having a praise kink. And even among those who do have a praise kink, the way it manifests can vary. Ultimately, that will vary person-to-person based on what sex acts they enjoy, what parts of their body or personality they like complimented, and their other sexual interests.
Sometimes, someone can get their desire for praise met through physical acts of appreciation, such as a simple pat on the back, shoulder squeeze, forehead kiss, or thumbs up, she says.
Indeed, a praise kink often operates in the context of a sexual power exchange, says Angie Rowntree , founder and director of Sssh. Though, the more dominant partner can also enjoy being told how dominant, strong, or sexually apt they are. There are a number of different reasons someone might enjoy praise during play, says Stewart. For one person, a praise kink could be a natural extension of their appreciation for words of affirmation, she says.
