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The term "fetish" may evoke images of black bodysuits and complicated sexual contraptions , but you may already be acting out some of the most common examples. Spanking , anyone? What defines a fetish isn't what the activity or object of desire is so much as the role it plays in someone's life. Fetishes can also be a term people use to describe sexual arousal that is coupled with a typically non-sexual object," says sexologist and psychologist Denise Renye.
While people often use the terms "fetish" and "kink" interchangeably, a kink means an activity or behavior that someone enjoys that exists outside the "norm" of "traditional" sex, such as incorporating handcuffs or even balloons. Think of the differences this way: If someone's kink is bondage, they probably get incredibly excited when they're tied up.
If someone has a bondage fetish , their entire sexuality may revolve around restraint. There's also the category of turn-ons: things that simply arouse a person. When we think of kink, we often think of BDSM, which involves an erotic power exchange through dominance and submission. Renye adds that people often have more than one kink or one fetish, and there is often overlap: For instance, someone may engage in spanking as part of a role-playing scenario in which one partner is dressed up as a schoolgirl and the other like a professor.
In such an instance, the scenario would involve role-play, impact play, and even age play. Research suggests that perhaps half of us are interested in sexual activities outside the "norm," so if you're interested in trying any of the following, rest assured you're not alone.