Until a few months ago, I did not realize that I had such a massive submissive and masochistic side to me. But since my escape from My Hell, I promised myself to never be truly submissive to anyone again.
I am a naturally shy person. I am also a naturally quiet person. I watch people. I often let others make decisions in order to see more about them and their personalities. How people handle everyday situations says more about them than they could ever tell you.
I do not. This is how I get to know you. This is how I judge whether or not to trust you with my friendship. My default setting is NOT submissive! I was warned about it, and have experienced it before. I would like to take a moment to say that all of my tops are very awesome and caring people who take the time to do aftercare properly. The drop still happens. It always has, and I suspect it always will. As I have to keep my kink life secret, I am not familiar with how other people experience this.
Sometimes it will be the next day. Occasionally, it will be just a few hours later. Just recently, I had it hit me days later a really, really deep need was fulfilled that time.
My drop is about loneliness. The drop amplifies it until I just want to lay in bed and cry and be cuddled. To all the boys and girls out there, that want to look perfectβ¦ To have a better body shape or to lose weightβ¦ That feel that they always have to hide those blemished parts of themselves, because our society says we have to have perfect bodiesβ¦.
