Editor's note: Same-sex attraction is a sensitive and complex issue. We feel it is important to try to understand how we can better meet the needs of friends, family, and Church members who experience SSA. Ty and Danielle graciously shared the following story as a first step in creating a more open dialogue about same-gender attraction in the LDS community.
This article originally appeared in our print magazine. When I was first approached about the possibility of including some thoughts in In Quiet Desperation , I was hesitant. Although I had worked through a crisis of faith around the issue and felt a lot of peace, I was quite private about whom I opened up to.
I still felt some shame given the cultural taboo around it and I was concerned about how people would respond. However, I also knew that through my experience I had gained some spiritual insights I hoped could be of help to others. I agreed to tell my story with the assumption that, if it were published, I would use a pseudonym. As the book was going through the editing process, the theme of being a witness started to show up more frequently in my personal scripture study.
The Spirit impressed upon me that the power of my witness would be diminished if I used anything other than my real name. I felt there was only one right choice for me in that particular situation. I had let go of any personal or cultural pressure to marry and was content to stay single. Then I had an experience in which I felt prompted to continue to prepare myself spiritually and emotionally for the blessing of marriage and leave the rest to the Lord.
I felt good about that spiritually, but I continued to experience some emotional ups and downs. Some time after that, I was earnestly seeking additional divine guidance. I needed some spiritual reassurance. It was general conference time, so I wrote down some of my most heartfelt questions and went into the Saturday morning session fasting.
