Posted January 2, Reviewed by Michelle Quirk. People generally describe dating as a miserable experience and approach it with emotions ranging from anxiety to terror. Following this advice, people obsess over writing the perfect profile for a dating Web site or picking something to do for the first date that they think will really impress their date.
Dating is not a popularity contest; the objective is not to go out with as many people as possible or get as many people to like you. The objective of dating is to find one person you like, preferably someone who also likes you, and then spend some time together to see how things go.
Dating is about discernment, not popularity. The idea is not to get someone to like you but to figure out if you like each other. Trying to impress someone to get them to like you creates the same problems as trying to impress an employer to get a job.
If you succeed, then you have to continue to pretend to be someone you are not. In the long run, you are better served to be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
Avrum Weiss, Ph. From Fear to Intimacy. Key points People generally describe dating as a miserable experience and approach it with emotions ranging from anxiety to terror. Dating should be fun, and the best strategy is to be yourself. About the Author. More from Avrum Weiss, Ph. More from Psychology Today. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist.
