Rob Toornstra. Someone approached me not long ago, wondering what the Bible says about sexual activity that lies outside of sexual intercourse. Is sexual experimentation a compromise with the world? Or may Christians feel free to explore ways of spicing up life in their bedroom? However, neither does Scripture leave us without guidance as we navigate how we may β and may not β enjoy our sexuality.
At creation, God's designs his image-bearers as embodied and sexual beings, and he creates marriage as the context for sexual expression. God establishes marriage as a covenant relationship that both unites as one flesh and forsakes all others Genesis 1. Marital sex, then, is a way we may glorify Christ by experiencing the joy of covenant intimacy. The pleasure of sex points us to the ultimate reality of our relationship with Jesus.
The Old Testament book Song of Songs gives fuller expression to what this looks like. This lengthy and sexually graphic poem describes what sex can be between husband and wife when it points to Christ.
But with careful reading, the sensuality of this book begins to emerge. The two lovers enjoy one another with all their senses, and they embrace the delight of sexual pleasure β including quite likely oral sex This means at least that God intends sex to be sensual, playful, and exciting. And that can allow us the freedom to explore a variety of sexual activity. However, other factors must be considered. Some forms of sexual activity between a married couple fall outside the realm of the usual.
Perhaps your spouse shares a sexual fantasy or desire that isβ¦different. Or, sex toys pique our curiosity. May we include these in our marriage? It is helpful to distinguish between activities that are forbidden by God and those that are just different. Since marriage leaves all others and cleaves together Genesis 1 and portrays the covenant relationship between Christ and the church Ephesians , any behavior that would take away from that covenant is off-limits.
