Through the years it has been humbling and an honor to be associated with David Ferguson and Great Commandment Ministries. Most of what I have written about originates from Dr. This article will address a second ingredient to deeper relational intimacy in marriage in the form of trust and vulnerability vs. Whether our experience is positive or negative in the areas mentioned above, one thing is for sure: they both require a tremendous amount of work. My response is very simple.
I can tend to forget that my hurtful behavior also adds proverbial emotional rocks to my backpack that I inevitably lug around. These are rocks of guilt, shame, regret, condemnation, pride, and even bitterness, none of which we are created to contain.
When I remain blind or quiet about this pile of rocks, I find the impact on my spiritual, emotional, and physical body crippling as I walk through the day. If I am not proactive in addressing my heart, it becomes harder as days go by. I may even learn to rationalize and justify my condition and enter the blame game that is common to men and women. In fact, King David reflects on his history of causing pain and the impact on his spiritual, emotional, and physical life when he wrote Psalm For day and night Your hand of displeasure was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer.
I can become so accustomed to carrying these rocks that I may deceive myself into believing I am walking strong while I am noticeably struggling or emotionally limping, which becomes painfully obvious to those who are closest to me. Conversely, in order to experience healthy relational intimacy in our marriages, it requires very proactive, intentional work.
I agree with Dr. He suggests that too often, couples reject the notion that healthy marriages are directly correlated to work invested through healthy relational care.
