Twenty, flirty and thriving? By Michelle Varinata - 16 May Michelle Varinata is the founder behind vintage fashion boutique Soeng Signature and a freelance writer. A voracious vintage fashion obsessee, wanderluster and hopeless romantic, she refuses to live by conventions. Grab a Kleenex and a glass of wine as you laugh and cry. Not a girl, but not yet a woman, being in my 20s felt like an extended adolescence.
Always in the state of finding the meaning of life, the second decade of my life is marked by major changes. Though society expects me to be tied down in my late 20s, I am too proud to let go of my independence.
As someone who struggled with self worth and abandonment issues as a kid, I developed a Great Wall as a shield for myself. Because I was bullied and had friends who left me for being neurodivergent, I was deeply afraid of having someone leave me if I chose to open up about myself.
I shut myself off of forging any relationship in high school and at uni. Conversely, I was scared of leaving someone behind whenever I moved cities. Rather than getting deep, I would stay at the surface. Falling in love with the idea of someone is always easier than falling in love with the reality of who someone is.
When the imperfections popped up in front of my face, it was a rude awakening that pulled the rug under my feet. Nowadays, I realise that Prince Charming is human, too. Rather than seek perfection, I seek authenticity, trust, accountability and strong communication. But, if a guy has too many red flags, ciao. In my early 20s, I was a sucker for a celebrity lookalike.
