I write because you say you are interested in those of us who are living an alternative life and you are curious about some of the challenges therein. Here is a piece of my story, and some of the questions I am asking myself. I am struggling. I live off the grid, on an organic farm, eight miles up a dirt road and 30 minutes from "town.
I have worked very hard to set up a lifestyle and an existence that allows me freedom and flexibility. It is beautiful here. I have meaningful work, family close by, wonderful friends and a playful community. Yet, I want someone to fool around with on Saturday night and wake up to on Sunday morning without wondering how did that happen or will it happen again? Do I give up all that I have built to move back to the city and date?
Or, do I have confidence and trust that some day, the right bearded man is going to drive down my road in a pickup truck to find me picking blackberries in a cute pair of cut-offs and cowboy boots?
For the past couple of years I have survived by developing a "gaggle," the select group of guys in my life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and can potentially help me identify what kind of relationship I would like to have next time around. The women who coined this term have laid out the different roles one might find in a typical urban gaggle. But no one ever thinks about what life is like in rural America, so I adapted their ideas to my country existence.
There is the "booty call" I hook up with when I make my monthly trips to the city -- seriously casual, and very hot sex. My gaggle includes the "non-date date" guy. We go out for dinner and drinks, have adventures, and then we go home β alone, or I text my "booty call" and complete my night. The "guy next door" who happens to be one of the only other single people in a mile radius offers small favors to help me out, and occasionally we make dinner for each other or sit down for a beer to compare notes about dating in our 30s, but we could never date each other.
