A few weeks ago, major media outlets announced that spanking is harmful to child development. The TV news segment included a brief statement about using positive rewards and limit-setting as an alternative. However, dangling rewards and imposing limits to improve behavior is not easy and often is unsuccessful. If it worked reliably, many parents would not resort to spanking. Corporal punishment has established deep roots in our society and has yet to let go of its grip.
Most recently a charter school in the south brought paddling back as a form of discipline. Corporal punishment is a loaded subject and can bring up all kinds of feelings. My goal here is not to examine whether spanking is good or bad β I will let the evidence speak for itself on this point.
On the one hand, children need structure and expectations and on the other they need warmth and support. Too much of one is not good. So, if the parents should not spank, what are they to do instead?
Here are a few ideas. What are your hot buttons? Do the same situations make you think of spanking? Does it happen in the heat of the moment, when everybody is about to go ballistic?
According to Dr. Ross Greene, the author of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model , behind every challenging behavior is a lagging skill. My child is perfectly capable of doing that! They are just being a brat, disrespectful, manipulative, etc. Thinking of your child struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through their distress.
