Though some contend any form of physical correction equates to child abuse, there is a giant chasm between a mild spanking properly administered out of love and an out-of-control adult venting their emotions by physically abusing a child. Unfortunately, each of us enters this world with desires that are selfish, unkind, and harmful to others and ourselves.
It is vital, however, that spanking be administered within proper guidelines. The reports about the punishment meted out by Peterson to his son, and the consequent injuries his son suffered, indicate his behavior on that occasion was far outside those boundaries. These kinds of experiences are why this whole issue is fraught with controversy β a child should never be abused. Properly understood and administered, spanking is most effective as a deterrent to undesirable behavior for younger preschoolers but never for infants.
As children age, spanking should become even less frequent as other types of consequences are utilized. Spanking should be phased out completely before adolescence. Generally speaking, we advise parents that corporal discipline should only be applied in cases of willful disobedience or defiance of authorityβnever for mere childish irresponsibility. And it should never be administered harshly, impulsively, or with the potential to cause physical harm.
Along those lines, we caution parents who have a hard time controlling their temper to choose alternative forms of discipline. There is never an excuse or an occasion to abuse a child. For parents who do choose to spank, the proper philosophy and approach is extremely important. Too begin with, as with all forms of correction, the concepts of punishment and discipline are absolute opposites.
On the other hand, discipline is motivated by love for the child, focuses on the future, and results in obedience and feelings of security. What we want children to understand is that the gentle sting of a spanking is connected to the greater and often long-term pain of harmful choices. Simply put, prevention is easier than cure. A child should always receive a clear warning before any offense that might merit a spanking and understand why they are receiving this disciplinary action.
