Revisiting the question now years after marriage, there is something that is now quite obvious to meβ¦. It is obvious that my heart was not in the right place back then. I was more interested in how close I could get to the fire without being burned instead of striving to please God and His holiness i.
Dating and engaged couples should definitely have determined, specified physical limits; however, the bigger issue is the purity of your heart.
There is a difference between desiring your sweetheart and lusting after him or her. He created sex, so He knows more about it than any sex expert on the planet. He wants us to enjoy sex, but that happens only in the confines and safety of marriage. Only God fully understands the consequences of violating His perfect plan for sex. So, how far is too far? If you are a believer, then the Holy Spirit dwells inside of you and you know when you are entering dangerous territory because the Holy Spirit communicates it to you.
As a rule of thumb, if the affection you are showing your boyfriend or girlfriend is making your body respond sexually lingering hugs, intense kissing, and inappropriate touching , you need to halt and move away as in, physically get out of the same room. Remember that before you are married, your future spouse is your brother or sister in Christ and should be treated as such.
Do you hug your brothers and sisters? I would assume so, but I doubt you hug them the way married couples hug each other. Do you kiss your brothers or sisters? Perhaps, but those kisses are hopefully only to show affection and not to arouse sexuality. If you are experiencing a sexual response to your closeness with each other, you need to set your physical limits more broadly.
