Convenience is a wonderful thing and I'm always down for a new life hack that will make my day a little bit easier. If you're too busy to date, aren't looking for a serious relationship, but are into the idea of spending time with someone you like and getting some action, you might have a friend with benefits. This common arrangement can be uber convenient, and it's completely normal to start liking your friend with benefits.
After all, you're friends and you're sexually compatible. Isn't that basically dating? Not necessarily. Friends with benefits is clearly a sexually convenient and consistent hookup arrangement without the responsibilities of being in a relationship.
But sometimes the lines can blur, and you might find yourself feeling more than just friendly towards your friend with benefits. OK, so now what? Does that mean you two should try dating? Or does it mean that your time as FWB is coming to an end? Did catching feelings just ruin everything? Consistently being intimate and friendly with someone breeds attraction, and can lead to attachment and affection. O'Reilly also has a scientific explanation for why feelings can develop in this situation.
O'Reilly believes we can experience these chemicals that make us feel bonded and connected to someone and remain unemotionally attached. She explains, "We are more complex than our neurochemistry, so you can exercise a good degree of control over your thoughts and behavior, which also affect how you feel. In my own experience, being friends with benefits has always led to casually dating, so I've yet to experience being FWB without feelings creeping in and raining on the sex parade.
O'Reilly agrees and says, "We experience powerful feelings in response to our friends, family, lovers and even strangers, so it would be impossible to have no feelings for a FWB lover. But O'Reilly believes being strictly friends with benefits is possible if we frame the dynamic in a certain way. She says, "Simply put, you cannot eradicate feelings, but you can adjust the way you think about and behave in response to them. So clarifying for yourself the difference between enjoying the comfort and familiarity of a consistent sexual parter and the feeling of romantic love and lust can help you keep the boundaries clear and well-defined.
