The whole dating landscape has really changed in the 20 years since I met my now ex- wife and it is both exciting and incredibly strange at the same time. Who knew? Newly single and new to Reno, I have had a bit more to think about in that I also have teenagers who watched their comfortable family life completely transform over the past year-and-a-half. Dating in a new place is confusing enough; dating in your 40s with curious teenagers around makes it even more so. When I first realized that my marriage was coming to an end, I felt like a complete failure.
I had put so much stock in defining myself first as a husband before anything else, that not being part of a married couple made me question who I was as a person, and shook me to my core. In order to keep myself from going potentially further into that negative spiral, I knew I needed to focus on getting myself back on some stable ground. I had a new job, which might have added even more to an already stressful mix, but instead it provided me with something positive and constructive on which I could focus my attention.
I also devoted some time to really stepping up my fitness goals for myself, which felt like a good way to fill the extra time I had when my kids were with their mom. At one point, my son asked me if my new focus on nutrition was a means to impress someone, presumably someone I was dating. I did my best to let him know that I was doing it for myself, rather than for anyone else.
I told him that when he and his sister were with their mom, I had more time to devote to my fitness, and it helped me feel good about myself. It also helped me sleep better at night, and generally improved my energy level at work. Building a new social life, including dating, was also a big part of keeping a positive outlook after so much disruption. The sheer number of dating apps and their various reputations is enough to make anyone a bit apprehensive to wade in.
Do people actually straight up ask for sex if they match? My experience with these apps has been sort of hit or miss, honestly โ but mostly miss. I guess it really boils down to a numbers game.
