I can remember the exact moment that my husband and I crossed into dangerous, potentially sugar daddy, waters. I got it into my head that I needed a trench coat for the trip. Every single vision I had of myself on this trip hinged on my wearing a trench coat. If I had a trench coat I could wear jeans and a striped tee and ballet pumps and look like a sort of Audrey Hepburn Kate Middleton cross. Obviously I did not look like that, it was a trench coat not a magic coat, but that was the thought process.
So I asked my husband then boyfriend. It was the beginning of a bit of a pattern. A little while later the Net-A-Porter sale came around. There was a lingerie set that I needed. So I asked. And of he said yes. Only this time he mentioned that he was excited to see the lingerie when it arrived. It arrived, he wanted me to try it on. I realised that when you bring the idea of payment in to a relationship, you make things complicated.
But I still did. Just because someone gives you a present, buys you something or pays more of the rent, does not mean you owe them anything. In my case it was as simple as explaining to my partner that I was feeling the pressure, like presents or financial support came with strings attached.
He was horrified. Being with someone who is older than you and earns three times your salary can create an imbalance in your relationship. If you get the sense that presents, trips, meals in restaurants or any other nice thing has strings attached? This article is part of Money Month , our month-long series of features, advice, and experiences about our tricky relationship with all things money.
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