There are two forms of non-monogamy: there's the nonconsensual kind, which is also known as cheating, and then there's the consensual kind, which is known as consensual or ethical non-monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy ENM , also known as consensual non-monogamy CNM , is an approach to relationships wherein people can have more than one romantic or sexual partner at a time, and everybody involved is aware and enthusiastically consents to the dynamic.
Polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all forms of ethically non-monogamous relationships. At its core, though, ENM means not cheating or acting without the consent of your partner. Ethical non-monogamy has risen in popularity dramatically in recent years. One study 1 found 1 in 5 people has been in some form of ethically non-monogamous relationship before.
Rather, the people involved in a relationship will make agreements about what the relationship dynamic will look like. Partners can decide if they want their relationship to be committed, casual, long term, short term, romantic, sexual, or any combination of these things.
They mutually agree on what types of connections they'll pursue and not pursue, both with each other and with other people, and they can set any parameters or expectations they'd like to make all parties feel comfortable. People in ethically non-monogamous relationships must become comfortable with talking openly about their feelings, needs, and desires, as well as being attentive to other people's. Active listening and empathy are necessary, Taylor says.
Being non-monogamous does not mean you get to care less about anyone's feelings and well-being. On the contrary, ethical non-monogamy necessitates a lot of care and empathy. Taylor notes that many of the same basic ethical considerations from monogamy still apply to non-monogamy: no lying to each other, no pressuring each other into things one person doesn't really want, and no going behind each other's backs.
