My partner is 31 years older than I am. Because of our four-year friendship before we hooked up, I know a lot about his sex life. Math is hard! And since you two were friends for four years before he realized you were the only woman he wanted to stick his dick in for the rest of his lifeโpay no attention to the woman he dicked during the brief interlude between telling you he loved you and the aforementioned realizationโthat meansโฆ umโฆ.
The same goes for giving advice. Likewise, it would help to know how long you two have been together. Three months? Three years? Because I would definitely give your relationship slimmer odds of long-term success if your partner were the kind of middle-aged man who befriends and eventually beds high-school students. Conversely, I would give your relationship fatter odds of long-term success if you were three years into it and your partner had been successfully monogamous all that time.
That said, NAGGING, cheating and breakups regularly happen in the absence of significant age gaps and friendship networks composed exclusively of exโfuck buddies.
Since people tend to partner withโand cheat on and be cheated on byโpeople in their same age demographic, cheating and breakups almost always happen in the absence of significant age gaps. But that is correlation, not causationโand sophistry, too! There are no guarantees. Your partner may revert to nonmonogamous form at some point and either cheat boo!
You could find yourself in a caretaker role in plus years and find yourself asking him for permission to open up your relationship. So give it more time. Good luck. We are open to allowing each other freedom, with full disclosure, and have occasionally done this. When I watch music videos of John Sebastian in his 20s, I cream my jeans. And I have noticed similar reactions to sweet, intelligent young men in their 20s and 30s.
