What once far too long ago was vibrant, ecstatic, passionate and FREQUENT has become flat, robotic duty-oriented and only frequent enough to miss the definition of sexless.
This has been a downward spiral since we became pregnant with our middle daughter nearly 10 years ago. She had complications with that pregnancy, and I was afraid to hurt her, so we went for 10 months without sex. Steadily, over time, the variety of positions diminished as well.
But it is still a major wedge between us. I fully accept responsibility for allowing our sex life to dissipate. I am working to die to myself and my needs, sacrificing myself for my wife in an effort to more fully live out the command of Eph. A messy, unpleasant chore.
Now, we know that women are capable of multiple orgasms. Inasmuch as researchers are able to figure this out, it looks like women are even capable of more intense orgasms than men. Like, sex can be seriously awesome for women! You can feel desperate, as if something that was vitally important was taken away from you. The next thing we have to double check is a simple one: Does your wife hate sex, or does her libido work differently than yours? She may have more of a responsive libido, and you may have more of a spontaneous libido, meaning that you may feel aroused and in the mood for sex at the drop of a hat, but she may need something to respond to.
She simply warms up differently. The key question is just: once you get started, is she responding and enjoying herself? It looks instead like there are reasons that sex fell off the cliff.
