Whatever happened to dating? College students have been asking that question for years. Every once in a while, even a newspaper will pick up the question and interview a few co-eds. The reporter finds dating's departure mostly blamed on what is universally called "the hook-up culture". While there are no as of yet proposals for the Senate to take on a Hook-up Culture Rep, I do not think many would deny that the culture is here and thriving at Tufts.
But where did it come from? And is it here to stay? The hook-up culture is simply an environment that expects casual sexual encounters that do not necessarily lead to anything further. Common sense would say that people hook-up for basic physical needs. They do not want to get involved in a relationship, but they do have intense desires for a sexual partner.
In a word, they are horny. So they hook-up -- either with a friend or a stranger. But something makes me think folks hook-up for something more than just the raging hormones. What makes me think horniness cannot fully explain the hook-up culture is this question: Would you hook-up with someone who was fast asleep -- totally unresponsive?
You could kiss them, touch them, make them touch you, whatever you would like. But they would remain completely oblivious to you and just lay there dead to the world. Not exactly appealing, is it? A bit like eating cold oatmeal. All the physical parts are there, all the same sensations, but something is missing -- an energy, a spark, a life. There must then be a pleasure that is not strictly physical. What makes a hook-up more desirable than any pornography or anything you could do to yourself is the one pleasure neither of those could ever provide -- the consent of a partner.
A lively, animated partner is lively and animated for you and for the moment at least you alone. You are special. What your partner does not let the world see, she lets you see. Personal space that is ordinarily walled off from the outside world becomes open to you alone. You are being let in, given privileged access. You become, for a few moments, the center of his attention.
