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I've tried dating apps everywhere from Karachi to New York City. But I gave up my sapphic romantic pursuits on hookup apps a while ago. Whether it was configuring mainstream apps like Tinder to look for women who like women or using straight-up lesbian dating apps like Her formerly Dattch , online dating was simply not worth my time. I'm not the only gay woman who feels this way. Most of the queer women I know have deleted dating apps from their phones after finding them equally frustrating, not to mention overwhelming.
That might have to do with the fact that many Tinder-inspired apps are structured around what's typically considered a male-oriented approach to attraction. The stereotype that men are inherently more " visual " than women may actually have some truth when it comes to sexual attraction.
A study on gendered responses to stimuli published in the Archive of Sexual Behavior demonstrated that men "responded more to visual sexual stimuli than did women" and that "women discriminated less in their responses" to said stimuli.
Swiping through a bunch of duckface selfies super fast certainly qualifies as "visual sexual stimuli. But it's not just about the users themselves. Mainstream apps like Tinder don't serve the queer population very well, from poor filtering to the lack of nuanced categories. Lesbians also use subcategories when it comes to their aesthetic appearance, such as "butch" and "femme" These labels help gay women navigate the dating world, but they're noticeably absent on apps like Tinder.
Lesbian women on Tinder also constantly face the ever-pleasant "Hi, sexy Hatmaker said that when this happens, "the app is no longer a safe space for these women" and therefore isn't conducive to the sapphic prowl. Why we'll never have a Grindr for lesbians: Given Tinder's failings as a dating app for gay women, the obvious solution would be to create a version of Tinder exclusively for lesbians.