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Skip navigation! Story from Sex. One study of straight cis men and women found that both genders wanted, on average, about 20 minutes of foreplay β but were only getting around 10 minutes. Another study , this one from , found that cis women of any sexual orientation were most likely to orgasm if the encounter included deep kissing , manual genital stimulation aka fingering , and oral sex.
Broadly defined as any sexual activity leading up to sex, foreplay can include everything from kissing to massage to, yes, oral sex. Keep in mind that many sexual activities, particularly oral sex and manual stimulation, can be seen as either foreplay or sex, depending on what that particular sexual encounter looks like. Sex is so much more than penetration , after all. As one foreplay lover previously told Refinery29 , "The key to good foreplay is actually doing it for long enough.
However long you think you should spend on foreplay, double it at least. French Kissing. Put your tongue to good use! You can try different techniques and movements β whatever feels good to you and your partner. Making Out. Foot massage, back massage, neck massage: whichever you prefer, a massage can really get you in the mood. Try incorporating massage oils or a massage candle to add some slickness.
After getting out the knots, you can let your hands stray just a little Nipple Play. Nipples can be really sensitive β not to mention fun to play with. For the BDSM-inclined, you can also break out the nipple clamps. Dirty Talk. Telling your partner how much you want them can heighten both your arousal. Dry Humping. For people with clitorises, this indirect stimulation can be a huge turn-on that can lead to orgasms, and it can feel amazing for people with penises, too.
Manual Stimulation. For many people, manual stimulation β aka fingering, hand jobs , or anal fingering β is the main course, not an appetiser. Whichever body part you're focusing on, add lube. Oral Sex.