Though sometimes taken for granted, our intimate adult relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are arguably the most precious and protective from a mental health perspective components of our lives. Just as individuals have the capacity for ongoing growth and development, so do our relationships and our capacity for giving and receiving love. Relationships thrive when there is a sense of partnership between the two people involved, striving towards a shared vision of the life they want to achieve, including shared values, and short-term and long-term goals.
However, to be human is to be flawed to varying degrees, so even if we hold an ideal for our relationships, the reality can often be quite different. Each person in the relationship brings their developmental history, including personal strengths and weaknesses into the relationship.
Therefore, it is not surprising that relationships can at times flounder and couples can get caught up in a downward spiral of disappointments, misunderstandings, and general disillusionment.
A lot of people are scared that if they attend couples therapy, it means their relationship or marriage is in trouble, but that is not necessarily true. On the contrary, when a couple decides to come for counselling, there is usually an implicit acknowledgement that they value their relationship enough to want to invest time and energy in it which, though possibly painful, will be gainful.
Indeed, some psychologists believe there are major benefits to engaging in couples therapy as a preventative practice, rather than only for addressing major problems that may have escalated over a long time. For example, learning skills such as communication and conflict resolution creates a platform of resilience within a relationship, so that it can better withstand stressful circumstances that arise.
