He sends me plane tickets for minibreaks, puts me up in presidential suites, and takes me for Mayfair dinners where the bill tops four digits. However, after four years of making each other absurdly happy, we both agree that his marital status is not a problem. In his culture, Remy shrugs, affairs are normale. Me being content with our arrangement β and never dreaming to ask him to leave his wife β makes me the ideal mistress. Nor am I a childless commitment-phobe, thank you.
I have a well-adjusted year-old son and until my divorce in , I was married for three decades. Sex is important, a natural human desire. But maintaining that over years of marriage? We exchanged vows in a big white wedding in Norfolk after just six months and I utterly adored him. John was a virgin when we met yes, at 26 and our sex life hardly caught fire. My first affair was with a senior executive I met through work.
It made me feel truly desired for the first time in years. He was the opposite of my husband β confident in bed and dominant. By this time the fling had fizzled out. I felt he wanted a mother not a lover for a wife. Somehow our marriage staggered on. I actively sought men who are already in relationships by joining IllicitEncounters, a married-yet-dating site. I said that I was looking for a confident man and had no interest in one night stands. I also described myself as feminine.
I generally attract alpha men. One man said he loved curves, but on our first date told me I needed to lose weight. We never made it to the bedroom. I do have a conscience, and I never want to hurt the other woman. But by midlife, lives are complicated. Remy, my current partner, has an English wife of 20 years. As I was lifting weights and pulling ropes, he suggested that it must be validation. And could you be doing something better with your time?
It pricked my conscience. And I have morals. I thought that was disrespectful and ridiculous. The colonel I was sleeping with introduced us. She knew exactly who I was. We air kissed politely, sizing each other up. She was thinner than me, with different colouring. That relationship only ended when he moved abroad several years later. Sometimes I naturally worry who will look after me in old age, or if I get sick.
